The Importance of Being Alone from Time to Time

Would you know what you look like if there were no mirrors or cameras?

Consider the peculiar relationship we have with mirrors. Sometimes, when you’re looking in the mirror, try closing your eyes and ponder this: without mirrors, how would you know what your face looks like? In a way, it’s the mirror that gives you your face

 Extend that idea to photographs, which also reflect how we appear, solidifying our image of ourselves. Now, imagine a world without any mirrors or cameras or any reflective surfaces. If such things didn’t exist and there was nothing to reflect your image back to you, would you still know what you looked like? Of course not.

Similarly, there is the inner self, our inner core being that we truly do not know because there is no mirror for us to see it in daily life, so ironically, we go through our ENTIRE lives without knowing our inner self. How sad is that?

Thankfully, there is a solution to it. You may call it meditation, contemplation, introspection or just sitting alone with yourself.

Just as a mirror will reveal your outer self, meditation or at least sitting alone with yourself, with your thoughts and having no gadgets to distract you will slowly reveal your inner self.

WITHOUT Sitting alone and being disconnected from time to time, there is almost no way you can truly know your inner self.

Let me share a passage from the Upanishads that are ancient Indian philosophical scriptures.

“It is not for the love of the worlds that the worlds are dear: it is for the love of the self that the worlds are dear. It is not for the love of the gods that the gods are dear: it is for the love of the self that the gods are dear. It is not for the love of beings that beings are dear: it is for the love of the self that beings are dear. It is not for the love of the all that the all is dear: it is for the love of the self that the all is dear.

It is the self that must be seen, heard, thought of and meditated upon: by seeing, hearing, thinking of and understanding the self” – The Upanishads

This passage explains that all external forms of love, such as love for a spouse, children, wealth, or societal status, ultimately stem from the love of the self. In other words, the capacity to love others authentically and unconditionally arises from a genuine love and appreciation of oneself. This understanding reframes relationships as opportunities for mutual growth and support, rather than sources of dependency or validation.

While relationships and worldly pursuits may bring temporary fulfilment, true and lasting happiness can only be found by having a deep connection with one’s inner self.

Furthermore, the Upanishads also say.

 “Any person who knows this is himself the Prajāpati of sixteen portions who is the year. His wealth is the fifteen portions: his self is the sixteenth portion. Only in his wealth does he wax and wane. The self is the hub of a wheel, wealth the rim. So even if he loses everything, but himself lives, they say, ‘He has got off with the loss of a wheel-rim.’”

Within this metaphorical framework, the individual’s wealth is likened to fifteen portions, representing the material aspects of life such as possessions, achievements, and external success.

On the other hand, the self is described as the sixteenth portion, signifying the essence of one’s being beyond material wealth.

The passage employs the metaphor of a wheel to illustrate the relationship between the self and wealth. The self is compared to the hub of a wheel, representing its central and essential role in life. In contrast, wealth is likened to the rim, symbolizing the external and peripheral aspects of existence.

Even in the event of losing external wealth and possessions, if the self remains intact, the individual is considered to have endured a loss equivalent to the loss of a wheel-rim!

IMPORTANCE OF BEING ALONE FROM TIME TO TIME

IMPORTANCE OF BEING ALONE FROM TIME TO TIME

You may be afraid of being alone or suffering from loneliness. What if I tell you that you have ALWAYS been alone your entire life regardless of how many people physically surrounded you?

There is no such thing as a SINGLE, shared reality.

Everyone’s experience of what they consider “life” is 100 percent unique to them.

 My memory of how life began for me is completely different from yours. In fact, even if we literally grew up in the same household and were twins, our memories would still be completely different, because life as we remember it depends on the experiences we remember, which are vastly different from individual to individual.

Even a collective activity of ours will be remembered differently by me compared to you because I was in a reality where I was looking at you and you were in a reality where you were looking at me. 

Suppose we are in a restaurant sitting in opposite chairs. I will remember it as looking at you and talking to you while eating a specific kind of food sitting on that specific chair and seeing what is in front of me and behind you.

 You, being on the opposite side of the table, will remember the reality as seeing my face, seeing what is in front of you and behind me (that I cannot see.) You may also remember different points from the conversation that I remember. 

Thus, even a collective experience, is a largely unique experience in the memory of the individual. Nobody else, but that particular individual experienced it.

When you sleep, “existence” ends for you alone. For everyone else, their individual existence continues, in a completely unique form for each individual.

I am not here to give you an existential crisis. I am here to remind you that solitude is not something to be feared or run from.

You came alone, you will die alone and the reality you are living in is, in fact, YOURS ALONE. Why not learn to be a little more comfortable and happier being alone?