The Search and Obsession For FAME: The Most OVERRATED Human Desire

When I was a kid, I was obsessed with fame. Why? Because everyone else wanted fame

Today, I have realized, I was a moron for being so obsessed with fame the way I was. But at the same time, it wasn’t my fault. What do you do if fame is the only thing to be desired in society.

Everybody in society desires fame because everybody else in society desires fame, that’s how we have been trained. Apart from that, there are few benefits to it, and one may argue that the harms outweigh the benefits.

Our collective yearning for fame isn’t necessarily an innate human desire but rather at least a somewhat learned behavior, shaped by societal values and media influence.

The absolute FIRST song that I literally remember having heard in my life is the 1988 Bollywood song, “Papa Kehte Hain” or “My Dad Says.”

I used to listen to this song often on TV as a 3-year-old. I remember, my parents also literally sang this song to me.

The first verse of this song literally translates in English to “My Dad says, I will make a great name for myself, by doing something that is truly amazing!”

That’s when I was trained as a child that Fame was something to be pursued relentlessly.

From a young age, individuals are exposed to media glorifying celebrities, lionizing their lifestyles, and equating fame with success and happiness. This constant exposure can create a feedback loop where fame becomes both a normalized and idealized state of being in society.

Sometimes though, fame, especially if pursued and acquired for the wrong reasons can do more harm than good.

In fact, I would go on to say that widespread fame and attention, without enough life experience and wisdom, is one of the most dangerous things that can happen to a person.

I am going to assume you have not read my book Unlearn and you are not aware of my past work, so let me briefly reintroduce my background at this time.

Once upon a time, when I had not rejected societal nonsense, I was brainwashed with it and was somewhat of a motivational bro myself.

Around 2008/9 I started working on a movie titled Carve Your Destiny, that ultimately took 6 years to make. The premise of this film was to interview a wide range of “achievers” from a variety of field to investigate made them successful.

 Unlike Sir Hapoleon Nil who claimed to meet and interview various achievers for his philosophical masterpiece, “Don’t Think, Just Grow Thick”, a hundred years back, (a claim that still has no real proof), I actually did it over a course of several years.

So as a result of this, I started getting reasonable attention in the media. I was featured in a lot of the top print media outlets in India at the time and also on BBC Radio.

In addition to this, I also became a bit of a minor star online. Social-Media was just starting out during that time, and the space wasn’t as crowded as it eventually became. I used to write a lot of original “motivational quotes” that a lot of people enjoyed.

This combination received quite a bit of attention, and I did experience some minor fame for a few years.

Even with the minor fame, I received a lot of attention and respect from people who barely knew me. Initially, this felt gratifying and validating. I also thought I deserved it, after all I was creating something innovative and had worked so hard.

 I got a lot of attention from people. People praised me as if I was the greatest genius in this universe after Einstein and naturally, I received quite a bit of attention from the opposite sex too.

However, I soon realized that this adulation was superficial and conditional. Carve Your Destiny released in 2014 and even though it technically got millions of views, it did nothing for my career, leaving me disillusioned.

All this effort of 6 years felt like it went down the drain for nothing. This was also the first time I started questioning the so-called success narratives perpetuated by society.

 I stopped writing on social media out of frustration and decided to solely focus on making a living for a while.

 Soon, the same people who praised me quickly moved on to the next trending personality, leaving me with a sense of emptiness,

The respect I received was not based on who I was as a person, but on a fleeting image, which was quickly replaced by someone else.

Let’s examine why the obsession for fame is ultimately so pointless with Point 1

Fame as a mistaken metric for Happiness

Fame is largely an illusion—a mirage that many chase, mistakenly believing it will bring them happiness and fulfilment.

Fame is external and dependent on the opinions and attention of others, which are both fickle and fleeting. Because these external factors are beyond one’s control, relying on them for personal happiness and self-worth is inherently unstable. Fame, in this view, is not a solid foundation upon which to build one’s life or identity.

The psychological impact of fame can be severe. As individuals gain fame, they often encounter a dissonance between their public persona and their private self. This split can lead to identity confusion, where the famous individual struggles to reconcile who they really are with who they are expected to be. 

To illustrate, let’s consider the life of Marilyn Monroe, a perfect example of how fame does not equate to personal happiness.

Despite being one of the most celebrated icons of the 20th century, Monroe’s personal life was filled with difficulties. Her fame, while immense, did not shield her from personal torment or dissatisfaction; instead, it often amplified her challenges by placing every aspect of her life under the relentless scrutiny of the public eye.

Monroe suffered from severe anxiety and depression, conditions that were worsened by the pressures of her career and the instability of her personal life. Her fame meant that every aspect of her life was commented on by the media and the public, leaving her with little privacy to deal with her mental health issues quietly or effectively.

The disparity between her public persona and her private self led to personal struggles. Her marriages, relationships, and personal interactions were often overshadowed by the overwhelming persona of “Marilyn Monroe,” making it difficult for her to connect authentically with others.

Monroe’s struggles show how fame can worsen personal vulnerabilities and lead to isolation, as those in the limelight often find it difficult to form genuine connections and trust relationships. This isolation, coupled with the constant pressure to maintain a public image, can lead to tremendous unhappiness.

Her untimely death, under circumstances that remain mysterious, was seen by many as a culmination of her ongoing struggles with her identity and the pressures of fame. Far from bringing happiness, her story is an example of the destructive potential of fame on personal identity.

The Disparity Between Fame and REAL VALUE

There is ALSO a distinction between public recognition and intrinsic personal value. Fame does not necessarily correlate with an individual’s REAL personal worth or their contributions’ significance. This perspective is especially relevant in an era where fame can be both highly sought after and widely misunderstood as a measure of true success.

The disparity between fame and personal value arises because fame is often based on public perceptions, which are influenced by temporary trends, media portrayals, and sometimes superficial factors that do not accurately reflect an individual’s true qualities or achievements.

 Personal value, on the other hand, is derived from an individual’s character, their actual contributions to society, and their personal achievements and growth, which are often less visible and less recognized publicly.

Fame is ALSO subject to the whims and shifts of public opinion, media trends, and cultural biases, which do not necessarily align with the intrinsic quality or importance of one’s work. It can be disproportionately bestowed or withheld due to factors unrelated to merit, such as marketability, timing, or sheer luck.

As a result, many truly significant contributions may go unrecognized, while less substantial achievements might be overly celebrated.’

The psychological impact of this disparity can be significant. Individuals who contribute meaningfully to their fields but do not receive recognition may feel undervalued or discouraged. Conversely, those who achieve fame but are aware of the superficiality of their public image might also experience a sense of unfulfillment.

When fame rather than actual value is rewarded, it can lead to an allocation of attention and resources that does not necessarily support the most beneficial or innovative work. 

A historical example of this disparity can be found in the life of the artist, Vincent van Gogh. During his lifetime, van Gogh was largely unrecognized and considered a failure.

Throughout his life, van Gogh sold only a handful of paintings. The art world largely ignored his innovations, and he was unable to gain the kind of patronage or gallery representation that could have provided him with a stable income or broader exposure. His work did not conform to the prevailing aesthetic norms, and as a result, he was considered a failure by his contemporaries.

After his passing in 1890, van Gogh’s art gradually began to receive the recognition it deserved. Critics and scholars revisited his work, and exhibitions started to showcase his genius. The emotional depth and vibrant energy of his paintings resonated with broader audiences and critics alike, eventually elevating him to the status of one of the most celebrated artists in history.

Another example is the inventor, Nikola Tesla.

Nikola Tesla’s life and career vividly illustrate the disconnect between fame and true success.

Despite his great contributions to science and technology, Tesla died relatively unrecognized and in financial distress, overshadowed by his contemporaries who were better at marketing their inventions or maybe just A LOT more ruthless, even if their real value was significantly lower than the public perception they managed to create. Of course, I am referring to Light Bulb Tommy (Thomas Eddy’s Son)

Tesla was a visionary inventor and electrical engineer who made groundbreaking contributions to the development of alternating current (AC) electrical systems, wireless communication, and many other technologies that are integral to modern life. His ideas were often far ahead of his time, which sometimes made them difficult for his contemporaries to understand or appreciate.

Despite his innovations, Tesla struggled with financial issues and recognition throughout his life. He worked on many projects that, though revolutionary, were not commercially successful or were abandoned due to lack of funding. His reluctance to engage in self-promotion and his indifference towards financial gain often put him at a disadvantage in a capitalist society that values profitability.

Ironically, Tesla’s reputation grew substantially after his death, as later generations came to appreciate the significance of his work and its impact on modern technology. Today, he is celebrated as one of the greatest inventors in history—a massive contrast to the relative obscurity he experienced in his later years.

Both Tesla and Van Gogh’s lives show that true “value” often transcends contemporary fame and can be more accurately measured by the lasting impact of one’s work, instead of fleeting public fascination. 

“The value of a man should be seen in what he gives and not in what he is able to receive.” – Albert Einstein