Don’t Want to “QUIT” on Your Dream? Then Remember This..

Remember this anytime you get started with something you intend on doing long term, whether it is a project, hobby, career, diet or just about ANYTHING else – You CANNOT SUSTAIN what you do not enjoy.

There is on old Indian Proverb, often repeated by parents and teachers when they want to fool you, err, I mean motivate you, into giving up your soul for some so-called glorious goal. The proverb, in its original form sounds like this –

“By practicing extremely hard and being extremely dedicated, even the fool can become wise, just like a rope used to pull buckets of water can over time, erode even the stone of the well.”

All good and “well”, but did anyone consider that in the process of eroding the stone, the rope itself is torn apart to shreds?

This is what happens when you try to sustain for years and years, doing what you hate. You may “leave a mark” but end up destroying yourself in the process.

One of the main reasons people deal with guilt is because of their obsession with perfection. If they are on a diet and for some reason cheat on their diet, they feel so guilty and worthless they let go of the diet totally simply because they believe that as they were not perfect, all of their hard work is now pointless.

If you have committed yourself to something, after feeling guilty about past mistakes (for example related to your health) and for some reason you are not able to adhere to it perfectly, it’s okay, as long as you are doing the best you can.

Till now, I am in reasonably okay body shape precisely because I have allowed myself to be imperfect. When I was trying to be absolutely perfect, I used to work out religiously for a few weeks before I realized it was just not possible for me to cope with this kind of physical activity on a daily basis.

Not only was I not getting time to do other important things, I was getting physically burnt out and developing nagging injuries. So, I quit working out for some time and in a few weeks my body returned to pre workout days making me feel depressed, this further fuelled guilt and anger and I quit totally.

This obsession for the perfect body and adherence to schedules perfectly and becoming guilty when I could not follow it, only backfired on me.

I made a decision that I would exercise only twice a week if I had to but I would not completely stop.

I would ALSO only work out to the point it was enjoyable and sustainable, not to the point that I began to hate it or led to injuries.

I am not a natural “exercise” guy, I don’t feel the same “high” that many people feel after exercise.

Others who become super-fit and stay that way in the long run is because they genuinely get a high out of it, one way or the other.

I don’t. In fact, intense exercise makes me feel worse.

So, I decided to do what works for me.

That is only do something till the point it is sustainable in the long run. If you can’t sustain a habit in the long run, there’s anyway no point doing it.

I have also completely got rid of all schedules and timetables (Goodbye Benny Boy). They only make feel guilty about not doing something while not contributing anything other than stress.

Contrary to the motivational guys, constantly relying on will power is not sustainable. You either enjoy something or you don’t. You continue what you enjoy (or are paid for) or you quit.

So, if you don’t genuinely enjoy something but you have to do it, go slow and go long, instead of going fast and burning out.

Now for many of you, the guilt may have to do with something else. It may be giving up addictions or maybe trying to correct some other mistakes you did in the recent or distant past. The process is the same. Stop trying to be perfect, because the moment you try to be perfect and fail, you will begin to feel guilty once again.

Commit yourself to doing your best to do the things that lessen the guilt associated with those mistakes and do what is under your control today.

 If you are able to take the more extreme approach and succeed, great! But if you aren’t, take this gentler approach.

You will realize that even if you are not perfect, a gentle commitment to doing something and sticking with it in the long term is much better than taking an extreme, painful approach that you give up in a week!

“Prosperity, pleasure, pious deeds… Enough! In the dreary forest of the world the mind finds no rest. For how many lifetimes have you done hard and painful labor with body, mind and speech? It is time to stop.” – Ashtavakra Gita